Erasure Poem Revisited

Last year I wrote an erasure poem from the pages of an old book.  You can see the full poem from that exercise here and you can see one of the erased pages of the book here.  That page contains one of my favorite lines from the poem and looking at it a few days ago prompted me to work on the poem again.  Below is what I ended up with.  I have added one segment–the one about the blackbirds in the rice, the rest is taken directly from the original erasure poem, with small edits for grammatically consistency.  I’m not sure about the title–I pulled it from another line of the poem, but am not wedded to it.  Also might try more experimenting with the line breaks to look more like the lines on the original page? What do you think? Thoughts/critiques are welcome!

Words of Prayer

day and night:
dreams of solitary white stones.

the loss of all things.

LISTEN–

in the wild rice,
the red-wing blackbirds
sleep above the river’s silvery
coiling.

a tattered fragment
of midnight flees desire.

Breathless, darkness folded
around the bird.

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3 thoughts on “Erasure Poem Revisited

  1. Pingback: National Poetry Month Day 22: Your Weekly Poetry Challenge « THE BUCKNELL AFTERWORD

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